


Oh Bill I Love You So I Always Will

by jusains



Category: The guy who didn‘t like musicals, tgwdlm - Fandom
Genre: A little angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 15:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20876798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jusains/pseuds/jusains
Summary: Bill appears at Paul’s door, soaked in rain and crying. Paul lets him in.





	Oh Bill I Love You So I Always Will

“Can I come in?” 

Paul frowns, when he sees Bill on his doorstep. It’s raining and he is soaked. His eyes are reddened and that reveals that he is crying, there are tears mixed in with the raindrops. 

Maybe Bill had hoped that the rain would hide the tears, or maybe he just doesn’t care. 

“Yes”, Paul manages to say. 

He fully opens the door and takes a step back, so Bill can come in. 

He kind of just stops in Paul’s corridor, looking down as his clothes dribble on the floor. 

“I’m sorry”, he says. 

“It’s fine. Are you okay?”

Bill nods, but sobs at the same time. 

Paul just pulls him in a hug, ignoring Bills clothes soaking his as well. 

“The divorce is through. But she got Alice”, Bill mumbles in Paul’s neck. 

“I’m so sorry.”

“I just wanted Alice. I did everything but she.. she got her.” 

“You can still see her on weekends, can’t you?”

“Once a month.” His voice breaks and Paul feels even worse, because there’s nothing he can do about it. He wishes he could do _something._

“Come in, I’ll get you some dry clothes and I can make tea. You can stay over night if you want to”, he therefore offers, because it’s all he has to offer. 

“Sure?”, Bill asks. 

“Of course, you’re my best friend.” 

“Okay”, he says, nodding now. 

“Okay?”

“I really don’t want to be alone.”

Paul gifts him a smile. “You’re not alone. I’m here. Just wait a second, will you?”

“Okay.”

Paul hurries to his bedroom to get some dry clothes for Bill and when he gets back into the corridor, Bill is still standing there. He hasn’t moved one bit, but a small puddle formed around his feet. 

Paul hates to admit it, but Bill looks adorable, all soaked in rain. 

Paul also hates to admit that he’s a little bit in love with his best friend. He has been trying to fight it for years, but it does not work at all so where’s the point? 

Bill is an angel and Paul just wants him to be happy, so he’s not going to say anything and make it weird. 

“Here you go”, Paul says, handing Bill dry clothes and also a towel. “You can go change in the bathroom. You can also take a shower if you want to, you’re shaking.”

“Thank you”, Bill says. 

“You’re welcome. Tea?” 

“Yes! Please.” 

“Okay”, Paul says, patting Bills shoulder for a moment, before he leaves him alone, going for the kitchen. It doesn’t take long until he hears him under the shower. 

Paul puts the kettle on and gets two mugs. He’s relieved when he finds that he still has a bag of Bills favourite tea left. 

Then he just stands at the window, staring at the rainy streets while waiting for Bill.

He turns around when he hears him in the corridor. Then Bill steps into the kitchen, a little less puffy eyed and wearing Paul’s clothes. 

And him wearing Pauls clothes is probably the greatest thing that ever happened to Paul. 

“Hey”, Paul manages to say. 

Bill frowns then smiles softly. 

“Hi”, he says. 

“I made you tea.” 

“You’re the best.” 

Paul feels himself blush. _The best. _

“Am I?” 

Bill comes over to him and then just hugs him. 

They’ve hugged before, but this hug feels different. This hug makes Paul’s heart go wild, this hug makes Paul hold his breath for a second there. 

This hug seems to mean something. 

Or maybe it just means that Paul has a huge fucking crush on his best friend and is over-interpreting every single one of their interactions.

“Thank you so much for always being there for me”, Bill says. 

Paul nods. 

“Of course I am.”

Bill looks up, his eyes meeting Paul’s and for a moment they’re really close, then he takes a step back. 

“Wanna drink tea and watch a movie?”, Paul asks. 

Bill nods. “Please.” 

— 

Bill falls asleep during the movie. His head is in Paul’s lab and his legs are hanging over the armrest. He’s hugging the blanket Paul gave him and he looks so peaceful. So much more peaceful than he did earlier, when he was crying at Paul’s doorstep. 

Paul can’t help it and reaches out for Bills head now, carefully caressing his temple with his thumb. 

God he fell deep. 

He’s going to have to tell him at some point, right? 

He can’t just deny it forever, it’s not like it’s going away. 

Bill stirs now and nuzzles his head in Paul’s hand, before he opens his eyes. 

“I fell asleep”, he says, after staring at Paul for a while (with Paul panicking, because Bill literally caught him staring while caressing his temple).

“You did”, Paul fumbles out, “Wanna go to bed?”

Bill nods, sitting up now. 

They’ve always been sleeping in the same bed. Platonically of course. It’s not like it’s a big deal, they’re friends after all. 

—

Bill already has a toothbrush at Paul’s place because he has been sleeping over a lot recently, fleeing from once another fight with his wife. Ex-wife. 

When they lay in bed, it’s quiet and Paul is not sure whether he should say something or if they’re just going to sleep. 

“Can I try something?”, Bill asks.

“What?” 

Bill just kind of rolls over to him. He hesitantly looks at Paul, before he slowly wraps his arm around his chest. 

“That?”, he whispers. 

Paul can only nod. How is he supposed to speak? 

Bill’s fingers wander up into his hair, then Bill lets his head sink onto Paul’s shoulder. 

Paul is thankful that Bill didn’t put his head down on his chest because then he would hear how fast his heart is beating. 

After pondering whether or not he should do it, Paul decides to wrap his arms around Bill and right after he did it, he can feel Bill relax against him.

For a while they just lay like that. 

Paul gets all intoxicated by Bills smell and he catches himself getting carried away, as he lets his hand wander up and down Bills back, until he lets it sneak all the way up, caressing the back of his head now. 

Bill looks up to him, still letting his head rest on his shoulder. And when Paul looks down, their noses bump into each other. 

Paul holds his breath, as he looses himself in Bills brown eyes. 

Oh god. 

Now or never, is that it? 

Bill pushes his chin forward and Paul fits their lips together, before he can actually think about it. 

Bill kisses him back. 

All soft and slow and hesitant. 

It feels amazing. 

When they pull away, Paul doesn’t dare to open his eyes, because he doesn’t want all of it to end. 

This is all he ever wanted. 

What if Bill is mad at him now? 

He can feel Bill push another kiss on his cheek, then he just nuzzles his head into Paul’s neck again, cuddling against him.

What was that? 

Hs doesn’t even dare to ask. Because what if it was nothing? 

When he opens his eyes, he sees that Bill closed his. 

So he closes his too, holding on to the memory of Bills lips on his, as he slowly drifts off to sleep.

— 

When he wakes up, Bill is still in his arms. Paul thinks about staying there until he settles on accepting that he’s too nervous to stay there. 

He gets up, completely freaking out now. 

They kissed, they kissed, they kissed. 

Paul kissed his best friend. 

How stupid do you have to be? 

“Okay calm down, everything’s fine! Maybe you dreamt that”, Paul starts talking himself down. 

“Dreamed what?”, Bill asks, appearing behind him in the door to the kitchen now. 

Paul flinches and turns around and while doing it, he hits his arm on the fridge and it hurts. “Ah shit”, he quietly mumbles. 

Then he slowly realises that Bill is still waiting for an answer.

“Nothing! I dreamt nothing, I don’t remember my dreams usually. And today is like usually, nothing different happened. It’s fine.”

“Okay.”

Paul forces a smile and hits the counter for no reason. “How about a cup of black coffee?” 

“Sure.” 

Bill is only giving one syllable answers. 

This is bad. 

Oh god this is really bad. 

Paul starts making coffee and both of them stay really silent. 

It takes about five minutes until Paul can’t take it anymore. 

“Alright I’m sorry”, he says, looking up but quickly lowering his gaze when it meets Bills. His heart is freaking out in his chest. 

“About?”

“That kiss!”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“Do you regret it?”

Paul hesitates. Doesn’t Bill? 

“I mean, I.. it didn’t mean anything? Or it doesn’t have to, if you.. listen I’m really sorry it happened.”

“Okay.” 

Bill nods lightly. 

It’s quiet for a few seconds which feel like hours, then Bill looks at his watch and says: “You know actually I should go.”

“Really?” 

Bill nods. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He backs away. “I’ll go change, my clothes are probably dry now.”

“Okay”, Paul says. 

Bill leaves the kitchen. 

And there Paul is, his brain feels like an unorganised, chaotic dumpster and it does take him some time to arrange his thoughts. But he manages. 

Bill looked sad, right? Paul has to go after him to at least make sure he’s okay.

—

He finds him in his bedroom, almost completely changed. He‘s buttoning his shirt, with his back facing the door, when Paul steps in.

“What happened?”, Paul asks. 

Bill flinches a little. He doesn‘t look up right away. Paul can hear him sniffle quietly and he can see him rub his hand over his cheeks, as to dry them. 

He‘s crying. 

Paul knows it before Bill actually turns around to him, but he can also see it when he finally does, even if Bill kind of tried to hide it. He dried his tears, but his eyes are still watery and he’s scrunching up his nose, while he sniffles. His eyebrows are raised in misery too.

“Sorry I kissed you”, he says. 

“But I kissed you.”

“And I kissed back! And you obviously regret it now so I’m sorry.” 

“Wait, Bill, are you.. don’t you regret it?”

“I do now.”

Oh if only Paul’s brain could comprehend that in seconds. Now he’s just standing there, staring at Bill with his jaw dropped. 

“What?”, he manages to ask. 

Bill shrugs. 

“It was stupid.” 

“What was?”

“Hoping that.. just forget about it, would you? Please.” 

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

Bill chuckles unhappily. 

“That’s okay.”

“Can you just.. explain?”

“God damnit Paul I like you romantically”, Bill blurts out, turning away afterwards as if to hide the fear in his eyes. But Paul saw it. 

“Oh?”, he fumbles out. Oh my god. Oh god okay. Okay. Okay okay okay okay. 

“I’m gonna leave. I’m sorry.”

“No!” 

Bill looks up, frowning now. 

“No?”

“I feel the same and I thought you did not. ..I mean I didn’t know or..didn’t expect you to..-” He gives up trying to explain and instead run-skips over to Bill to kiss him. He goes in with too much energy and therefore both of them stumble backwards until Bills back his the wall. Bill seems taken aback at first, but soon returns the kiss even if a little hesitant. 

“I feel the same”, Paul says, as soon as they separate. 

“You do?” Bill is still crying. 

Paul nods and uses his thumbs to wipe the tears off Bills face. 

“Stop that. Don’t cry”, he mumbles, before he leans closer to Bill and kisses the tears off his cheeks, because new ones followed immediately.

Bill smiles. “I can’t just turn that off.”

“I’m so sorry for telling you I regret it.”

“It’s alright, you just made me cry and everything.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Paul chuckles. “Okay.”

“Where do we go from here?”

“I don’t know. Date me?”

Bill nods. “Yes”, he mutters, before he leans into another kiss. 


End file.
